One of the most difficult things for women to do is to say, no. We have been socialized, taught, and trained to always think about others needs. It has been drilled in us since childhood, to be polite, don’t be rude, to say thank you after someone does something nice for you. However, we weren’t taught to learn our own limitations. To know when to say no to requests or demands that are overwhelming, unrealistic, or just aren’t something we want to do. Overextending yourself, leads to poor mental health, stress, physical aches and pains, irritability, and low mood.
Saying no, does not make you a mean, rude, or nasty person. Saying no to requests or demands that you don’t like, feel uncomfortable doing, or seem to be too much for you is necessary and smart. It’s important to be aware of your limitations and your right to decide if you want to accept or deny a personal request made from friends, family members, or loved ones. In my years of working as a mental health therapist, I’ve found that most women feel guilty when they say “no” so…. they just don’t say it. They overextend themselves to help others, please others, provide services to others, and overlook their own needs and over tax themselves. It’s important to know that it is your Personal Bill of Right to be able to say “NO” to requests and demands that you don’t want to do. It’s also important to not feel pressured into giving answer right away. It’s okay to say, “Hmmm, I’m not sure, let me check and get back to you later” or “Let me think about it and I will let you know later.” That way, it gives you time to really think about the request and if it is something you want to do, will be able to do, and or willing to do. So go ahead…try saying “no” to unrealistic requests and or demands, and watch how you start to feel. It’s going to be hard when you first start but, just like anything, practice makes perfect. To learn more about how to learn how say “no” without feeling guilty and receive 1:1 coaching on it, please visit my website at http://www.nicolearkadie.com
-Dr. Nicole L. Arkadie